As a mom, I wake up, get ready and I have great expectations of the fun things we will do and expectations that I can control my anger. These are happy expectations. Some days fall so short of those expectations. Today is one of them. Since we didn’t have anything to go to this week, I started yesterday with serious potty training. I’ve taken a very casual approach to potty training up until yesterday. The boys loved sitting on the potty but they won’t go on the potty. They would happily sit in there but hold it until I put a diaper or underwear back on them. I put the boys in underwear and did the going to the potty each half hour. Sunday and Monday combined there’s been 20 accidents and right before lunch Lance refused to sit on the big potty, he would only sit on the little potty and James started crying and wouldn’t even go near the potty. At lunch time with tears in my eyes, I called it quits on the push with potty training. Apparently they aren’t ready.
I’ve also got two boys who have just said no to everything that I’ve asked them to do. Please get in your chairs for lunch, NO. Please pick up the toys, NO. Please don’t hit your brother, No. There have been many spankings and I even yelled. Yea, I’m doing the Orange Rhino challenge which means I’m supposed to not yell. With all the chaos going on I broke down and yelled. Sigh. To add to this morning, my boys didn’t want to take a nap. James climbed out of his crib, pulled his diaper off and smeared it into the floor and both boys decided to get naked and have a scream party. Double sigh. Some days can only be handled with tears. I had a bucket full today.
Where’s my mercies for today? That was my thought as I cried. Amazingly I did have two mercies. We tried resist art since this week we are studying the letter R. Our first attempt did not go well. I put green finger paint with some water in a spray bottle. I taped down a four-leaf clover since St Patrick’s Day is coming up. The boys had a ball with the spray bottle. Lance doused his paper with green water while James found it fun to spray his brother and the rest of the kitchen. This gave my boys a workout with their fingers. Too bad it all came out a pale green, soppy mess. The paint soaked through the clover and made the whole page green so we had to throw it away. But they had fun and again, the fine motor skills got a workout. Mercy #1.
We ate lunch and tried this resist art again, only this time with green fingerpaint. It worked much better. Mercy #2.
So, in the midst of all this disobedience and me breaking down in tears, a few things went right. As a mom, I often let the things that aren’t going as planned derail my whole day. I count the whole day as bad. In reality, not everything was bad. Yes, I marked down how many accidents that we had today to make sure I wasn’t blowing things out of proportion and sadly I wasn’t. The defiant No was spoken more times than I can count. I cried with everything that’s in me. After I had my meltdown, I saw my two boys sleeping peacefully and God reminded me that the art served a purpose for today and all these challenges can help me learn to handle tough situations better. Today is not a loss, it is a just a hard day. Today my God had to hold me while I wept, he calmed my boys when I couldn’t and He reminded me that His mercies are new every day. In fact, they will be new this afternoon when my boys wake up from their nap.