I am sitting here about to write and I’m frustrated with my kids. No, to be honest I’m mad about their behavior, and my behavior too, this morning. After the kids went to bed last night, I stayed up to watch the USA girls gymnastics team win a gold medal in the olympics. I know that I can’t miss my sleep or things go very wrong the next day, but I thought surely I could do it for just this one time. Besides, it’s the olympics I told myself. Oh how we can talk ourselves into believing a lie and have the best reasons for doing it too. So that’s where I am this late morning: tired, woke up late, kids pulled all the toilet paper off the roll while I wasn’t looking, didn’t have a prayer time before the day and “no” meant nothing to my boys.
THE DAY IS STILL REDEAMABLE! THE DAY IS STILL REDEAMABLE!
After I finish writing, I’m going to take a shower and spend a few minutes in prayer to reset this day. My boys may not be better after their nap, but mommy’s reactions will be better.
So I’ve completed the first month of my Motherhood Challenge, not comparing. I can’t believe how much better I feel about myself and my kids on most days. I know, this morning was not a good example. During the first three days of not comparing my mothering or my kid’s development was so hard. I would catch myself starting to go there about every 10-15min. That’s a lot of comparing. God made me and my kids to be unique so why would I try to change that and be how God made someone else? I have no good answer so I just quit doing that. I have such a joy in watching James & Lance now. I don’t watch them play and think about what they should be doing differently. I don’t pour over the developmental checklists and make sure the boys are right on target. I occasionally look at the checklists, but I have the best pediatrician and if the boys are lacking, my doctor will let me know so I don’t have to be the one agonizing over every little detail. The kids in our playgroup are almost 6mo older than my boys. Why would I try to compare my boys with kids that are older? As I look back, I thought that if I worked with my kids enough, they would be just like the older kiddos. Wrong! Sadly it was a prideful thing that quietly snuck up on me and robbed us from fully enjoying those infant years. With all that said, not comparing has been such a great success and I’m ready for this month’s challenge.
I’m going to focus on getting up earlier for a prayer time for this month’s challenge. I can see it now. The house is still and quiet, I arise from bed to a warm and cozy room, grab my worn and well used Bible, snuggle down into the old rocking chair in my room, read the most life changing passages about raising my family, get a clear plan about my day, kneel down to have a heartfelt conversation with God and then go downstairs to awaken my peacefully sleeping children. Such a sweet scene, but a scene out of a hallmark movie, not my life! In reality, I’ll want to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock, the house will be cold, I won’t find my Bible quickly because in yesterday’s rush I’ll have laid it somewhere else, the rocking chair squeaks and will be a distraction and we all know that my children will be wide awake when I get downstairs. They would be running wild like the children in Never Never Land if they weren’t in their cribs that they can’t climb out of yet. My challenge will have to straddle my dream and reality. I’m going to get up 5min earlier each day. I’m not looking for a special place to pray that’s just perfect. I’ll probably stand at the kitchen counter and talk with God for a few minutes. It doesn’t sound grand or even life changing, but God can work miracles from even the smallest things. 5min won’t make much of a difference in my sleep to make me tired, but 5min with God will set my mind on being the type of mom that God desires me to be. I’d really like to say that each month I’ll increase my time of prayer in the morning, but all I’d be doing is setting myself up to overcommit and then I’d stop altogether. So with all the strength in me, I’m going to be content with my 5min in the morning. Of course that’s not the only time that I pray or read my Bible, but starting with a prayer in the morning will get things off to a right start. The hard thing will be when my day doesn’t run smoothly. I’ll be tempted to give up on the morning prayer. But God doesn’t equate blessings with our behavior all the time. Just look at Job. I’ll be praying so that my mind is set right and then come what may as the day unfolds. I’m looking forward to this challenge. Would you like to join me too in waking up just 5min early to pray over your day? What will our new outlook and attitudes be like when we daily pray first thing in the morning? I can’t wait to see!