Interrupted

After only a week of being a mom, you know that your life will be interrupted a millions times and it’s never at a convenient time.  Some days those interruptions are no big deal, but there are days when one more interruption just might put you over the edge.  Those are the days that I learn just how selfish I am.  I really thought that I was fairly unselfish before I had kids.  What I now know is that I like doing for others, but thanks are greatly appreciated and keeps me going.  Children should have been wired to praise their parents from a young age, but that’s not how God designed them and I think He did that so I would see my own sinfulness and turn to Him.

I was thinking about all the times that Jesus was interrupted.  Arguments from the Pharisees while He was teaching, the disciples interrupting when children were gathered at His feet, soldiers arresting Him while He prayed in the garden and His own mother interrupting festivities at a wedding to make wine and the list goes on.  Christ knew interruptions well and He handled them well.  So what can I learn from this?  At least three things that I can see right now.

1.  Jesus came to serve and servants don’t have their own will as priority.  They are willing to be interrupted, that’s part of the action of serving.  If it were me and I was partying at a friend’s wedding and someone asked me to go work instead of enjoying myself, it would make me mad.  I would be thinking the nerve of that person to ask me to do a favor to them when I’m trying to relax and have some fun.  I would no doubt be thinking that this was my time away from my kids, I was paying for that babysitter, eating good food and dancing a rare slow dance with my husband.  Helping out would take away from my ME time.  How many times have I heard and have said to myself that I don’t get enough ME time?  Way too many times.  Not that ME time is bad, but I want it far too often.  I also remember in James that Paul says that he doesn’t deserve praise because he is only doing what he should already be doing as a servant.  Wow, I think I need to put this up on fridge so I’ll see it throughout the day.

2.  Jesus was gracious with His time and serving.  I however seem to have an attitude of inconvenience when my kids come calling at times.  You know the times.  When your kids should be sleeping, you are working on that scrapbook page and you have only one more thing that you need to cut and glue down.  You are working as fast as you can but you cut wrong and have to do it over.  You can’t find your glue stick or you misspell something because you are hurrying.  All the while the crying is getting louder and you know your child is saying hello, I’m in here and I need you because I can’t get out on my own.  Hello!!!!  Be responsible and be the parent!!!!  So in great irritation I put my things away, leaving it undone, and go pick up my two boys.  My mind usually stays on what I wish I could have gotten done.  I’m cranky with the boys and I don’t get to cherish that sweet moments with them.  The times when I could be enjoying that they want me, want to sit in my lap, want mom to hold them in my lap with my arms around them.  The day will come when I’ll only have those memories because they will have their independence and I’ll want those moments back.  How sweet is it to watch a gentle mom caring for her children and enjoying her time with them, her soft voice, her caring touch and her attention to the details of her children.  It reminds me of the Proverbs 31 mom, who cares for her family with love and in return her children call her blessed.

3.  How well do I perform the tasks asked of me when I’ve been interrupted?  Many times I do it quickly and not to the best of my ability.  If I were Jesus at the wedding, I would have made  general old wine and be done with it.  Probably saying to myself that they should have planned better.  But Jesus did the opposite.  The wine was so lovely that the guest thought the bride and groom were saving the best for them.  I’m sure He made that family feel good about themselves.  When I give attention to the details of my children, oh how they smile and feel treasured.  Like making a sandwich.  Do I throw out a regular sandwich and plop the first veggie that I see on their plate?  When I make a sandwich that I would even like, cut it into triangles for them, get a fruit cup and make sure that the veggie is one they like, they giggle, they eat and it reduces the amount of fighting over eating their plate. 

My boys are learning from me how to treat others and how to serve.  What are they learning from me?   My life is not my own, it is God’s.  He has the power to make interruptions in my life or prevent them.  How can I be irritated when God has ordained the interruptions so I can learn to be more selfless?   When I rise in the morning, I think part of my prayer should include asking for help to handle interruptions so I can show God’s love to my boys, to others who call me on the phone, to those who need something, to my husband and to myself.  One thing I know, life’s interruptions will always come.  May I handle them wisely.

Advertisements

Tot School – 18mo – In & Out

We are sadly saying goodbye to an old friend, the box.  We have learned so much from it, open close & in out.  My boys seem to make friends with any box they see.  This box has been around for 6 weeks before it bit the dust with torn sides and an open bottom that won’t stay closed anymore.  That is why we must toss it and find a new box friend to play with.  James & Lance have had so much fun closing the doors on one another and going in & out of the box.  They have recently started saying in or out along with mommy and Lance will even say door.  The laughter that comes out as each child busts through the door or peeks in through the door cracks makes me smile.  It’s good to know that they have imaginations and they don’t require fancy toys to fill all their time. 

We also celebrated Easter last week.  I know the boys are too young to get that Easter celebrates Jesus’ resurrection, but I read them the story anyways and one day they will get it.  We had a lovely easter egg hunt at grandma & grandpa’s house.  They giggled as they picked up the eggs and placed them in the basket.  I have to say that they enjoy chewing on the basket handle just as much as gathering eggs.  When we got home, we practiced putting eggs in the basket & taking them out.

They have also renewed their interest in a shape sorter this week.  While we do work on the shapes, James has been having a grand ole time dumping it out and then throwing the shapes back in.  He just squeals when I say in or out really fast.

God is in the days that don’t

I have been making strides in feeling better as a parent and I’m using very little medication these days.  This in itself is an encouragement to me & I’m loving my time with James & Lance for the most part.  However, there are still some crazy days that I think it just can’t get worse in the behavior department.  Lance is going through his selfish stage where he grabs any toy that his brother has and runs off.  James is oh so patient but when he’s had enough he strikes out with a mean bite.  This morning James had no patience and I lost count how many times I had to have James look me in the eye and I said no biting your brother while I had Lance by the arm waiting to hear how we don’t steal other’s things.  I was feeling rather frustrated about the actions & attitudes of my toddlers when I put them down for their afternoon nap.  I opened up my email and my best friend sent the best post for today.

April 2011

Sometimes my 16 passenger van and I clamor down the driveway and I think that I will get out and life will be easy. That 14 daughters will greet me laughingly at the gate and there will the smell of fresh wheat bread baking in the oven and a long run at nap time and clean laundry on the line and 14 bodies pressed close against mine on the couch before bed.

It was once.

Except today life is messy. And there are 14 girls at the gate but they are fighting with each other and one comes with a grouchy birth mother who lives in my guest room and there are burn victims in the yard who need their infected skin scrubbed out and a ten pound three year old abandoned little girl on the couch and my baby has pneumonia and life is busy so cuddling on the couch gets postponed until tomorrow because today I just want to go to sleep and wake up when some of the mess is over.

I park. Turn the keys in the ignition, close my eyes, open my hands and just sit. And He fills up my spirit with just one word, enough.

Enough.

Jesus.

Jesus bent and carrying my burden. Jesus with nails in His hands and water, living water flowing from His side. And even when I think that I have learned this already, He teaches me AGAIN.

Jesus.

I look around the yard again and He whispers softly, “I died for you.” And His ways are not my ways but I trust them and I am thankful for the mess, ever pulling me back to Him. And peace, oh how it passes understanding.

Some days, the bickering and the burns and the birth mom and the babies abandoned are His will for my life, His gift to bring me closer to Him and today, I will embrace the gift that is Him, enough for me and all my broken places.

These days, only He carries me. And because only He carries me only He can receive the glory, all of my adoration and all of my praise.


* * * *

I scribbled this nearly a year ago. Chicken scratch in the journal that catches my half-asleep thoughts just before bed and my still-sleepy thoughts in the first light of morning.

 A year later there are no burns or birth moms or abandoned babies to speak of. But today there is Musoke fighting for his little life on the couch and there is the baby thrashing from her too-hot fever. Today the house is too messy and I yelled at my kids for no reason whatsoever other than I am tired.

 And because of a hard season and some scribbled words and deep lessons last April, today is little easier. Today I know it deep in my spirit that the hard seasons don’t minimize Him but in fact magnify His goodness. Here is where I learn to know Him more.

 I know that I can find joy here, too. Because God is in the days that go as planned. And God is in the days that don’t.

Today there was breath in the chest of a little boy who I thought may die in the night. Today there were hugs and picked flowers and sweet notes from kiddos who knew mama was tired. There were big sisters who helped little sisters and a biggest sister who organized the house cleaning. There were 130 painted toenails, all colors. There were boxes of cookies sent from friends in the states and medicine and food sent over from friends around the corner. There were hands to help and even more that offered to help, and there were voices lifted in prayer.

 And today, there was a Savior who paid my ransom with His blood, and it was enough.

 It is always enough. Could I just remember? Could I just remember whose I am? Could I just remember the price He paid to live in me? And if Christ is in me, then can’t I find Him in all of these things too – the measles and the vomit, the flowers and the forgiveness and the toenails? Knowing that in all circumstances He is enough and He is working to draw me closer to Him, I praise Him for the good in the hardest of days.

Jesus, you are enough.

You were enough to atone for this ugly sin that wanted to separate. You are enough to fill in the gaps, fill all my holes, make up my lack. My flesh screams, “I can’t go on, I don’t have enough! Not enough strength, not enough patience, not enough…” And I wouldn’t, but I have You. And in You, I have enough and more than enough, Father of abundance, Giver of endless blessings.

I can pour out because I know you fill up. I drink from a well that never runs dry. You are abundantly available to me, ever drawing me closer. You call me into communion with you and I am filled with your life over flowing even in the driest, hardest of seasons. You exchange my lack for your abundance, Christ in me the only hope of glory. Christ in me is enough. Christ with me is enough. Christ on that cross and risen for me is enough. You are enough, Jesus.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His GLORY, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. From His fullness, we have all received grace upon grace. John 1:14,16

 Posted by

. http://www.facebook.com/l/vAQHXpTk0AQEyGPkiFXzzxUlg_gHXn-pRteIEJjbyVb_iqw/amazima.org/blog.html