I’ve been a little slow getting back into the tot school routine this month. This week I just wasn’t sure if I could get it all done. For one, I had come down with a bad UTI & spent some time in the bathroom. I was worried that my children would be running around the house out of control & I’d be stuck. Never fear! I’m here today to prove that any place is a great place for learning. The bathroom door provided all the inspiration & fun. James thinks any door should be shut while Lance firmly believes every door should be open. While I sat there, those two spent the whole time opening & closing the door. Each time I’d say open in the most enthusiastic voice that I had and did the same with the closing of the door. The boys would peak around the corner to see each other before fully opening/closing it. They had the best time and laughed the whole way through. Every night this went on during this week. The boys don’t care where I’m sitting, just as long as I play along and sing out my silly open/close words. How much easier can it get? The next time I’m feeling ill, I’ll just look closer at what’s around me that I can use. So, one of God’s mercies this week was a simple door.
I have fought the good fight for long enough now. I started my pregnancy with dreams of being the perfect mom, loving every minute and having well-behaved children. I know that God threw me in this whirlwind of twins with post partum to show me that I had to rely on Him. I think that if I had only 1 child or twins without postpartum I would do just fine, rely on God less & definitely have less compassion for other women having issues. I do have my prescription for Zoloft if I need it, but I’m reaching out and asking for people’s help before I turn to meds. It took me awhile before I could admit that I need help. My husband & I talked about daycare, Mother’s Day Out, nannies and other options. For each family, the decision will have different outcomes & I don’t think lowly of the mom who uses a daycare. I wanted some type of help that would allow me to de-stress & learn mothering skills. After some prayer, I thought about a sweet friend that is wonderful with children. I asked her if she would come over for 3 days a week for 1-4 months. When she accepted a huge relief come over me and I could tell a difference right away. While an active toddler wielding a spoon on their own might not frighten some of you away, two strong-willed, never stopping twin boys that fling food through the air while you are helping the other twin had just about sent me over the edge. I lost count of how many times the boys would bang on the glass or touch the fireplace after I just told them “no touch.” My gracious friend has come in, watched the other boy while I disciplined the other, helps with teaching table skills and is a sounding board when I’m frustrated. Post partum goes away or lessens when your stress lessens so I’m hoping as we evaluate each month I can cut back on her help and continue feeling great. I am not a person that admits easily to needing help. I not a person that likes to give what should be my responsibilities over to others without criticizing the other person. By only God’s mercy and grace, I love her help. I don’t criticize her work or suggestions and I’ve picked up a few new parenting tricks as well. If I will remember in the future to gladly accept help and know that it is God’s provision for me and His design that we work in partnership.
We had quite a busy Christmas & new year. Now that we are back in our own house & everyone in their own beds, we can get back to a normal routine & tot school. Before we left for the holidays I had visions of coming back, starting out with a bang and challenging my boys to bigger things. Of course my boys would have learned so many new things from being around older cousins. But as Tuesday morning came rolling around and everyone was so tired that I decided to take it easy and just see what would work. The reviewing colors and shapes wasn’t going well. Thankfully before I got to the irritated beyond control stage, I abandoned the lesson. James wanted nothing more than to sit in my lap while Lance just wanted to stand there staring at me with his nose inches from mine. So what is a mom to do when no one has any energy? Sitting next to me were the new touch books that the boys got for christmas. In the past these did not go over well. The boys wouldn’t want to touch the specific areas, they fought over turning pages and just weren’t that interested. I tried them anyways on Tuesday morning. This time the boys were quiet, giggled as they touched and listened as I described the different textures. I was thrilled. They were mesmerized each day reading & touching a new book. As all good things have to end, on Friday the happy sharing ended when James wanted to continue touching a page but Lance was determined to turn the page with James’ finger getting smashed. Crying of both kids reached new highs, but God’s mercy must have been poured out in double portion that morning because it didn’t rile me. Another triumph over post partum! What a wonderful reminder of what God does for me. I go about life doing what I should then wham, I let sin creep in without warning and God lovingly forgives and redirects me back to what I should be doing. It makes me laugh to think that I can throw an adult tantrum sometimes that would rival the crying of both of my boys put together. How silly we must seem to God who knows the plans He has made for us and knows that those plans are for are good. Just as learning new touching and sharing skills for my boys are good for them, but sometimes they just can’t see why they need to learn to discover and share.